Walthamstow

Beginners guide to Walthamstow

A friend of mine emailed me this morning to tell me he is thinking of moving to London. Having been talking at him about the benefits of the Stow for a number of years, I saw my opportunity to start selling it to him. He knows me very well and after sitting through many of my E17 lectures in the past about the art trail, marshes, pubs and anything else I could think to tell him about; he knew full well that as soon as he told me his news, I would put my tour guide hat on and start bombarding him with all things Stow. To try to prevent me getting carried away he finished his email with the line “What do I need to know, and I want the highlights Bill not a bloody bible” so this is what I sent him.

The Victoria line misunderstanding

Many people think of Walthamstow as the place at the end of the Victoria line, they are of course wrong. Those of us that live here know that Walthamstow is at the start of the Victoria line and the rest of London radiates out from here.

First carriage second door

This is all you need to know about Walthamstow Central station. It will mean little to you until you live here but it will make getting home much quicker if you remember it.

The Walthamstow shuffle

This is what you do trying to get on the escalators at central station if you don’t remember the point above

Stoke Newington

Yes we have heard of it, and no I don’t live here because I couldn’t afford to live there.

The Village

The village is fantastic and has lots of nice places to eat and drink, but despite what estate agents and Kirsty Allsopp may tell you there is so much more to E17 than the Village, take the blinkers off and go exploring.

Children and pubs

If you don’t like children you should avoid the Castle on Sundays. If you do like Children or indeed if you have any you should avoid the Nags Head, especially after 7pm when any children unattended or otherwise will be sold to the Borg.

Fireworks

The firework season lasts for weeks so if you don’t like them you should invest in a good pair of ear plugs

My Mum is in hospital

If anyone tells you that their mum is in hospital and could you give them change for the bus, they are lying. They just want to buy some cider and have you pay for it.

Cinema

You have to want to save our cinema, if you don’t your E17 passport will be revoked and we will ask you to leave

Get involved

The West end has lots of bright lights that will catch your eye, but don’t let it distract you. Walthamstow is more than just another part of London, there is a very strong sense of identity and community in E17. If you live here then live here properly, get involved and enjoy what it has to offer.

His plan backfired when he called me to say thanks for the email and I hit him with the full sales pitch.  I hope he does join us in the Stow as it really is a great place to live. Besides I don’t want to lose another friend, the last person that asked me this question moved to Forest Hill instead, so I had to take her down to the marshes and feed her to the bears.

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3 comments

  1. Love it! You’re fab! You have forgotten to add that you HAVE to be part of the Awesomestow Twitterati, go round the E17 Art Trail just to nose at other people’s houses and dogs and be an aspiring baker 😉

      1. it also helps if you like cake but don’t believe what they say about Walthamstow being full of cake shops.

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